Monday, May 28, 2007

The Secret to Writing a Successful Novel

By Jeffrey Hauser

Ive written six books, five of them novels and I have been published. While that doesnt necessarily put me in the same class as King or Clancy, I think Ive discovered a few basic truths about what it takes to put together a readable, enjoyable, and ultimately, satisfying novel. I am willing to share this non-earth- shaking, insiders information, but I am required by the ANWA to make a few disclaimers and assumptions By the way, that stands for the American Novel Writers Association, of which I the founding, and currently, only member.

One disclaimer is, that anything that I disclose is my own opinion and not something I gathered from any writers guide, article, or book. Another is that Ive only been writing for fifteen years, so I dont have an entire lifetime of writing on my resume. On the assumption side, Im hoping that someone reading this has (a) written a short story, (b) a whole novel, (c) either or both, (d) decided its time to write something at all, or (e) is a really successful author thats already sold millions of books and wants to ridicule any thoughts other want-a-be authors have say about writing. The last one is probably unlikely at best, but the ANWA made me add it.

So its almost time to reveal my secret, but, in the interest of novelists everywhere, I should take a short poll. If you have been writing, you already are aware of the simple steps required in novel writing. Like establishing a plot through a rudimentary outline and then finding a suitable setting. You must have established characters with a variety of physical and social descriptions that they will use throughout the story. How many do this with every book? A show of hands, please. Hmm, so maybe not all of you. Ill guess that someone doesnt even use an outline. So, perhaps, you employ index cards or a list, instead. That still works in many cases. As long as you know where you are going and how you will get there.

Therefore, the end justifies the means. My first novel was an exercise in abstract reasoning. I had no outline, and, in fact, no written notes of any kind. I didnt know any better having read not a single book or article on writing, whatsoever. I was stranger in a strange land (apologies to Heinlein) and didnt know what the dickens writing was all about. (apology to Charles) Instead, I plodded through a rough draft, editing prodigiously as I went. But I learned in abundance and came away a better writer. When I was done, I had an epiphany. Although the end product was rather interesting and fairly well done for a beginners effort, I realized that I could have saved myself lots of agony. Lets start at the end. No, really.

I suffered through manufacturing a decent ending. Something that would tie all the loose ends together. It took weeks to finally concoct the ending that would be both believable and pacify the reader. After I typed the last few lines, I took a deep breath of relief. A few months later, as I had time to regroup, I contemplated my next novel. I was knocking about several ideas when it hit me. I was going about everything backwards. Rather than invent a plot and all the appropriate and sundry characters, I needed what every great novel needed: a perfect ending. There, I said it and let the cat out of the hat. (apologies to Dr. Seuss)

The secret is to develop the ending first. After all, why do you go to see a movie or read a book? Sure, you want to enjoy the ride but, when all is said and done, you want an ending that made it all worthwhile. So, its your job, albeit, responsibility as a trustworthy writer, to invent the best possible ending for your novel before your write a single word. An ending that leaves the reader panting, excited, exhausted, and mainly, wanting more. More what, you ask? Why, more of your incredible writing, of course. Because you did your homework and went to the trouble to design that amazing ending, the reader will be begging to seek out your other works.

It seems logical, right? Once you have the ending, you simply work backward toward the beginning with plot, setting, and populace. It rather akin to making a cake. You imagine a magnificent chocolate, caramel fudge, layer cake, drizzled with vanilla icing. Next, you decide what ingredients you would need to make it. Then you buy the various components and prepare for the creating process. Okay, maybe baking is an unfair comparison, but the mindset is the same. The end of a novel has to be the foundation of the entire product with all the other elements part of the building procedure. The final affect is a complete package that works on every level.

The reason Im harping on this point is that all of us have seen movies or read books that left us flat. We walked away wondering why we spent all that wasted time. I want your readers with just the opposite opinion. That warm, fuzzy, and satisfied feeling you get after a terrific meal or mind-blowing sex. (apology to Dr. Ruth) So, if youre ready to tackle the great American novel, get a firm hold of the ending first. Cheers in advance to a successful writing experience and bottoms up.

Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix." His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages" which can be seen at his website, http://www.thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Online Marketing Success Stories

By Scott Lindsay

Buffalo, Oklahoma is a town with about 1,200 residents. If most people know anything about Buffalo it is mostly as a place to stop between locations they feel are more important.

When the elementary school closed down in a consolidation move the town sat looking at an aging elementary school building and another reminder that perhaps an economic boom would never pass their way again. This is until Faye LaMunyon; a long-time resident of the area suggested the town sell the property on ebay.

Long story short, a school curriculum company from Florida bought the school and relocated their business to Buffalo where they market their brand of products online as A+ School Supplies and Core Curriculum. While they have a beautiful building for their offices the town has several new jobs. An interesting side-note is the majority of the company product sales take place online.

Two states away, Scott goes to work each morning at Nazwear international based in Gering, Nebraska. His business began as a high school hobby back in 1986 when he became interested in screen-printing. His original designs may be little remembered, but today Scott is taking online custom orders from a global community and is busy enough he has difficulty fitting in local business although he manages somehow.

These are stories of how the Internet can be harnessed for the purpose of marketing a product or service. In the case of the town of Buffalo, Oklahoma they marketed a school. In the case of A+ School Supplies and Curriculum they market items geared for students and teachers. In the case of Nazwear they market the service of printing with the product of shirts, bags and other screen printed items. In all cases their ability to conduct business was greatly enhanced through the use of online marketing.

Faye LeMunyon may have had no idea how to use ebay, but she understood there was power in the idea of marketing her town and refusing to let the school deteriorate over time. The job creation and marketability of the new facility has brought additional hope to the Oklahoma town.

This is the same type of ingenuity that is needed in the development of your online marketing plan; take something you know and love and determine if there is a market for it. If there is, look forward and move decisively toward the end goal a successful online business.

The best news in this series of stories is your business can originate from anywhere and can be more successful online than many standard brick and mortar stores.

So, whats your dream?

Scott Lindsay is a web developer and entrepreneur. He is the founder of HighPowerSites and many other web projects. HighPowerSites is the easiest do-it-yourself website builder on the web. No programming or design skill required. Get your own website online in just 5 minutes with HighPowerSites.com at: www.highpowersites.com

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Wife Swinger Stories: The Club Scene

By Julia Tanner

Some of the best wife swinger stories have come from the club scene, but does that really make them the best way to go?

A lot of couples can be worried that the images in their head are either better or worse than the reality of the swingers clubs and gatherings. Lets look at some of the things that you may be able to expect.

Getting Into The Swing Of Things

If youve ever felt like a fish out of water because of your swinger tendencies, then you may find the perfect home in swingers clubs. Through careful guidelines and well-hidden locales, swingers clubs are able to sort through all of the deviants and find couples that are honestly interested in swinging.

You can either do a search online or in your local phone book to see if there are any swinger clubs near you. Of course, if youre in a smaller town, you may need to head to the big city for a little fun.

You and your partner may also want to investigate at the local adult themed stores to find out about private swinger events.

Its not that local swingers are ashamed of their lifestyle, but other co-workers may not be so accepting so clubs allow them to experience other couples without being discovered.

Calling Ahead

Youll want to contact the event planners or the club itself to talk to the owners before you just head over. Some places have rules that they like to go over and questions that they may want to ask.

And theyll want to ask both of you, so you should both be ready to talk.

There may be dress codes or a theme for the evening. This is also a great opportunity to ask any questions that you might have as well.

This call is simply to weed out anyone that doesnt suit the clubs atmosphere. And since theyve probably been holding functions for swingers for a while, they have a good instinct about those that wont fit in.

How Clubs Help You

Swingers clubs are a great way to interact with a select group of people without the fear of having your personal information revealed. You dont have to reveal your names if you dont want to, so any wife swinger stories that may happen wont get out.

There are also staff members for security as well as people who can answer any questions that you might have.

The clubs are usually fun places with lots of conversation pieces to get couples talking, while also allowing some darker corners for more intimate interactions.

Dress nice and be open to what happens around you. Many first timers like to just watch the activities around them; see what the club is all about.

And this is perfectly fine.

Another great concept that most clubs employ is a no-pressure policy. So if you dont want to do something, then you dont have to. And no one should try to talk you into anything.

Julia has written an amazing swingers minicourse. You can get it absolutely free at http://www.swingersvillage.net. Find out everything that you absolutely need to know if you are a swinger, or if you are considering swinging.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Real Diamonds in the Bookworld Dross

By Cathy Macleod

In these fast-buck days for global publishers, many of their �greatest ever� new titles are not worth reading.

It�s disappointing, but blame the marketers who control the trade. Without them a truly great author can languish. This has happened to more than one past-generation genius, available now at $1.

My newest find among these neglected gems is Jessamyn West. She ranks alongside the best short story writers in the English language. Her humour reflects dilemmas of a gentle kind. She is funnier than Mark Twain and more original in her plots. Married life is her strongest theme, while situations, characters and dialogue are her greatest skills.

Jessamyn West (1902-1984) found fame in 1945 with �The Gentle Persuasion�, a collection of short stories about a Quaker family. It became a movie starring Gary Cooper. It�s just one of her marvellous creations. These days her books can be bought for $1 (www.abebooks.com), and I have just ordered a stack of them.

Since she�s not of my time, I was ignorant of this literary homebody until she popped up during an internet browse. It�s ironic that our high-tech tool of the Space Age was the means to discover a woman chronicling life in the Old West and, additionally, in the family suburbs many of us grew up in.

What a shame it would be for readers of the present generation to miss her folksy yarns, so this is my pitch for Jessie. She has a magic that soothes and tickles and regards the world with sympathetic grace.

You�ll find 30 PC pages listing her works at abebooks, my favourite browse after www.booktaste.com

What a shame that publishers have let this virtuoso lapse into the $1 shelves. But what a delight to come across her there�an everlasting source of mirth and philosophical musings. Current good-humour authors who spring to mind are Alan Coren, Bryce McBryce, Susan Kurosawa, John Mortimer and Alexander McCall Smith. There may be others I have yet to read.

Cathy Macleod

I invite suggestions to feature at http://www.booktaste.com I�ll give a free book of laughs (in cartoon form) to the first 20 people who respond with a new living author who makes me chuckle. Simply email your nomination to cathy.macleod@optusnet.com.au

Monday, May 14, 2007

Christmas - Youll Never Guess Whats The Number One Gift?

By Bernadette Dimitrov

The greatest Christmas gift is you! Yes, you are the gift. Giving is the act of generosity. It nourishes love in our relationships and builds the human spirit. Learn to give more of yourself whether it be helping, listening, giving acknowledgement, gratitude or thanks over the Christmas holidays. This is how we reinforce the presence of love in our lives. Where-ever you go you leave your energy, so leave the spirit of Christmas this holiday by giving the gift of you in caring ways. Extend yourself by doing more than you have to. Do it with a feeling of love and know it is a special gift from you over the Christmas period especially to the ones you love. It will make others feel extra special, appreciated and cherished.

A Fun Way To Give The Gift of You!

You could write onto a slip of paper for each member of your family a gift of your time for 1 hour to do whatever they like with total commitment of your attention and participation for their use at a time of their liking. Put your gift commitment of your time into separate envelopes. Now write each person�s name on the envelope and place them on the Christmas tree. It's a gift like no other!

A Powerful Way to Extend Your Gift Giving of You with Your Children

Give of yourself to your children by giving them the gift of your acknowledgement. Children crave acknowledgement and it is a transformational gift. If you have been shy at giving acknowledgement to your children here is a wonderful way to express it. Write on a piece of ribbon �you make a difference� and pin it on them Christmas eve. This says that you acknowledge them in a powerful way. Many teenagers and children go through periods where they feel less than adequate especially during awkward growing up years. This is a great little reinforcement of your love, acknowledgement and support of them. This is a powerful way to give the gift of you to your children!

Visit http://www.HoHoHoChristmas.com & sign up for our FREE Newsletter full of tips, tools & resources for reviving the fun, joy, magic and real meanings of Christmas PLUS receive our bonus f*r*e*e 10 day e-course with audio - Amazing Ways to Enrich Your Christmas Experience from The HoHoHo Expert, Bernadette Dimitrov, author of the world's best Christmas ebooks and audio books. The HoHoHo Factor!� everything you�ll love to know & share about Christmas & the new fun adventure series �Bluey, Santa's New Recruit!� Your resources for creating fun and cherished memories today!

Coping With A Funeral

By Sharon Jacobsen

When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know closely, others may be complete strangers; all will be claiming some kind of relationship to the deceased.

Whilst grieving for your loved one you may find yourself not wanting contact with anybody other than those to whom you are closest. Having to deal with so many people can be very difficult so it's important to understand how to handle them.

Relatives and Close Friends

Those who were close to the deceased need to be contacted before the funeral. When you break the news, remember that they will also need the chance to express their grief and this must be respected, no matter how deeply distressed you are feeling yourself.

Sometimes it can be difficult, if not impossible, to trace certain family members. Don't feel guilty if you've not been able to contact all of them.

Some of those who you'll need to contact may be people who you do not know personally. If they come to the funeral and you have not been able to speak to them properly it would be a good idea to write or telephone them later, to thank them for attending.

The Small Funeral

Perhaps you have decided on a small funeral, either through your own personal preference or because the deceased made their own preference clear. Perhaps the financial side of the funeral will force you into this decision. Make the decision clear and stick to it.

You may find that some friends or relatives insist on attending even after you've explained this to them. Be polite but firm. Explain that you appreciate their wish to attend, but that it is a family decision to enforce such a restriction. If they still insist, they are simply being insensitive and you may have to take a different approach. You might tell them that the date of the funeral has not yet been decided and leave things at that. Whatever you do, don't allow anyone to emotionally blackmail you into changing your decision. And don't feel guilty if you need to lie. They are being insensitive, and you are simply trying to deal with matters as best you can.

Polite Conversation

Unless the funeral is very small it will probably be impossible for you to speak to all of the attendees. Don't even try. Most people will understand that you are not going to feel like making polite conversation. You will find that those will any degree of sensitivity will simply approach you, kiss your cheek/shake your hand and offer their condolences. They will not expect more than you are able to offer.

The Wake

Most people organize some form of refreshment after the funeral. This can be a good way of accepting condolences from those you were unable to speak with during the actual service. By offering refreshments you are showing that you are willing to share your grief with those who are also suffering through their own loss.

Enlist the help of a friend or two. You may feel that you will be able to cope but having support close by will be very helpful should you find that you are feeling too upset to appear.

The Will

It's an unfortunate fact that funerals can often bring out the worst in people. Some of the most long-lasting family arguments have started at a funeral, with squabbles over who should get what. You may find yourself surprised at just who is able to throw themselves into such arguments, even though they are in the midst of their own grief.

You may find yourself being quizzed at the graveside. People can be very clever in their approach, offering condolences and then adding the innocent question of what the deceased has left to whom. You may also find yourself the target of malicious comments regarding your 'improved financial situation'. There can be more hidden rivalry within families than most would imagine.

You mustn't allow yourself to be drawn into arguments. Simply pretend to ignore any unwanted comments and questions. If they persist, explain that you are far too upset to think about such matters at the moment and that if they've been mentioned in the will then they will be contacted in due course.

In the case of a will never having been made and where there is any disagreement regarding who has the right to what, explain that you will appoint a solicitor to handle the estate and explain, as above, that they will be contacted in due course.

The Following Days

Some people find themselves terribly alone in the days following the funeral, whereas others feel that they never have any time to themselves to grieve. Remember that others cannot read your mind anymore than you can read theirs, they're simply doing what they believe to be right.

If they choose to stay away, they are probably doing so out of respect for your privacy. If they choose to spend as much time as possible with you, this will be because they fear for your ability to cope alone. Explain to them what your needs are. If you need people around you, phone some friends and ask them to visit. If you need to be alone, explain this politely and ask if you may phone them should you need their company. You'll find that most people are very accommodating as long as they understand your needs.

The loss of a loved one is never easy and nobody will ever expect it to be. For some the funeral seems to pass as just a hazy memory, leaving a feeling of guilt at not remembering the details of this last farewell. Remember that it's the memories you have of the person when alive that are important, and it's these that will remain clear to you in the future. During deep grief it can be very difficult to grasp details of what's happening but this does not mean you didn't care. Quite the opposite in fact.

About The Author

Sharon grew up in East London but moved to Norway at the age of 19, returning to England in 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and two of her three children. Besides writing, she is currently studying Social Science with The Open University, runs a web site where women in the UK can meet other women for platonic friendship (www.friendsyourway.co.uk), potters in her garden, knits and reads everything she comes over.

s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

How to Control a Woman-Stories with Consequences

By Dennis Diehl

Sometimes a little bit of clear thinking can undo a lot of amazing foolishness. One of these rather simple views with huge implications is that of what Paul says about women, and thus how they should be or not be, do or not do, even though today we know his reasonings are invalid. Even of Paul it can be said he was piously convicted, like many today who follow his teachings, and yet marginally informed, which is the rub.

For example, we know, ok, most know that the story of Adam and Eve is not literally true. There really was no first man moment created out of the dust followed by a woman made out of the rib of man. It is simply mythology and how we have been sold the idea that it literally happened and thus gives reasons theologically why GOD wants this or that, is another tale in itself.

Very simply, humans evolved over millions of years, most likely in Africa and then in various stages of developement and in various ways, spread out over the entire planet in the past 60,000 years. No Adam, no Eve, no garden, no talking serpent, no two literal trees and no disobedient woman who is responsible for all our current world problems. It's mythology at it's best but taken literally it's theology at it's worst.

Of course the characters in the New Testament believed it literally it seems. That does not make it true as they would not know then what we know today about human origins. And Yes, even Jesus would have taken the Adam and Eve story literally, Cosmic Christ nothwithstanding. The literal story of Adam and Eve has to be true, literally, or the New Testament has some pretty glaring problems.

Again, and for example, it is easy to see that a couple of simple truths lead to really messy conclusions. Adam and Eve did not really exist. The story of Eve causing the Fall of mankind into Original Sin did not happen. If it did not happen, there is no Original Sin for all us poor humans to be forgiven of. If we don't need forgiveness and aren't going to hell for not finding the true church to forgive, baptise and redeem us thru Jesus, then the whole need for a Church is superflous along with the ministry. See how simple! Argh!

It's a bit like the idea that Jesus knew he was God in the flesh and could not really die. He knew he would be killed but also raised to life again and live on. The Bible supports Jesus both knowing and not knowing he was the Messiah or God's only begotten son. He would not be dead as men are dead. If he knew this, then why is his crucifiction so special and such an atonement for our sins? A sacrfice that is really no sacrifice, that doesn't really die and stay dead to pay for sins, is not real it seems. If Jesus didn't die, I am supposed to go to hell eternally, but his death is not permanent. It's just momentary.

Why is it such a big sacrifice for God to give "his only son," if He gets Him back in a few short days. I have buried lots of kids that the parents would love to have back so soon after their devastating loss. If I KNEW I would be shot and yet I also KNEW in three short days from now be God again, go ahead and shoot me! Thus, and it's painful to think, the sacrfice seems contrived and is really not all that much for a God to sacrifice after all it seems. Maybe it's just me.

But my observation in this short article is not about sin and the need for manditory church attendance or having a priest or minister to run interference for your life. I want to focus for a bit on the illogical damage this mythology has done to modern women, through the teachings of the Apostle Paul, based on HIS taking the story literally.

Paul says...

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach [didaskein], nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression," (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

So here we have that the REASON women are to keep silent in church, not teach and ask husbands any theological questions ("what if my husband is an idiot and doesn't know anything?", one wife asked me), is because a literal Adam was created first by a few hours evidently, was not tricked into sin even though he was standing right there next to Eve, and was not deceived as was Eve. I guess the reward is that their salvation comes in their having babies as Paul noted. Well there you have it! Women TODAY are to be or not be a certain way because of Paul's thinking the whole mythology really happened! We know it didn't, or at least we can know if we open up our minds and think beyond what men knew 2000 years ago. If it didn't literally happen, then the justification for women today to be silent and take the blame is just not true. They need to stop allowing ministers, priests and rabbis to do it.

In the original mythology, women were punished now by having babies painfully and being in subjection to their husbands. Paul also promotes this ideal for women. The problem is, it's based in myth and not fact. If it didn't literally happen, then why is the results for women today so literally enforced by men. Weird!

In I Corinthians 11 we find...

8 "For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man"

This is not literally true. Every man came from a woman as did every woman. Women did not really come from the rib of Adam. It is NOT true, so why are women forced into a box of obedience literally based on a myth! It's nuts!

It's also the way men have controlled women for thousands of years. Make the god's make the rules or the priests on behalf of the gods and it will literally control them with a literally untrue story. I guess since it has always worked, it always will. That is until and unless we all collectively wake up to the FACT that the reasons Paul or any Church Father after him give for why women can do or not do, be or not be this or that, are simply not true and the stories upon which the consequences for women are based are simply not true. If the story is not true, then the reason for using the story to make something else true is ....well...not true. Time to wake up.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

The Real Gamblers Among Us

By Jake Earl

As we all know, gamblers are a much studied group. When a new mega-casino opens, the mix of slots vs. table games, cafes vs. buffets, etc. is already a known statistic. Big conglomerates have all used research to find out who their customers are, what they like, what they�ll spend and how long they will stay during their visits. This, in addition to those computerized �Player Cards,� tells them virtually everything they want to know about how we gamble.

Just released, we now have �Profile of The American Gambler,� an exhaustive survey compiled by Scripps Survey Research Center for the gaming heavyweight, Harrah�s Entertainment. It covers casino play, to be sure, but it�s more about who we are as people. Do we support casino gambling in our states? (Yes, the survey says.) Do we save as much as non-gamblers? (Yes, again.) Some very interesting profiles emerged from this research, and it�s a safe bet this will not be the last survey of its kind.

Highlights of the study include:

58% of adults (21+) have gambled in a casino at least once during 2005.

There were 209 million adults that gambled in a casino in the last 12 months.

The average gambler visited a casino six times in one year.

A majority of adults favor licensing casinos in their own state.

Gamblers save more and invest more than non-gamblers.

They are more likely to use technology (email, computers, satellite, cable etc.) than non-gamblers.

They travel more, and spend more than non-gamblers.

They expect to have more money for retirement than their non-gambling counterparts.

Understandably, those people with higher incomes gamble more than lower incomes.

Working older couples 45+ comprise the highest percentage of all sub-sets at 19%, with young singles at only 3%.

By far, Slot players comprise the largest group (71%) with table gamers making up the balance.

There�s more Video Poker played than Live Poker (despite the TV hype of late), and BJ is played twice as much as any other table game.

Gamblers are less religious, donate more to charity, and are twice as likely to travel.

Men are equally likely to gamble as women.

Non-gamblers eat out only ฝ as much as their gambler counterparts.

Gamblers own newer cars; travel further on vacations, and are more �optimistic� about the future.

These facts seem to fly in the face of many �preconceived notions� of the irresponsible, gambler prototypes we�re used to hearing about, especially around election time. Whether we like it or not, it seems gaming has become very Mainstream America. I hope Harrah�s will do follow-up research with these same barometers being reviewed and re-tested. It will be interesting to see how, and maybe why, things change in the future.

Jake Earl is a staff writer for TrueCasinoStories.com.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Nursery Rhymes: Are They Safe

By Maggie Van Ostrand

When we tuck our children into bed at night and tell them fairy tales and nursery rhymes, we intend them to nod off peacefully and have pleasant dreams. But how pleasant can their dreams be when their sleepy little heads are filled not with visions of sugar plums but with fear, violence and death?

Their little heads are destined to be filled with the same images as ours were: blind mice who run but can't escape having their tails amputated with a carving knife; a boy who kisses girls and makes them cry; an old woman living in a shoe who whips her hungry children for no reason; babies rocking in cradles and falling down when branches break; Solomon Grundy, born on Monday is dead by the end of the week; Tom, the Piper's son, steals pigs; scary spiders frighten little girls on tuffets; Humpty Dumpty falls off a wall and can never be fixed; and monkeys who catch weasels and pop them. How did this carnage begin?

Some of these tales have been around for a very long time and generally date from the 16th, 17th, and 18th centuries as one of England's most enduring forms of oral culture. Apparently most nursery rhymes were originally composed for adult entertainment, originating as popular ballads and songs.

The earliest known published collection of nursery rhymes was Tommy Thumb's (Pretty) Song Book (London, 1744). It included "Little Tom Tucker," "Sing a Song of Sixpence," and "Who Killed Cock Robin?" The most influential was "Mother Goose's Melody: Sonnets for the Cradle," published by John Newberry in 1781. Among its 51 rhymes were "Jack and Jill," "Ding Dong Bell," and "Hush-a-bye baby on the tree top."

Hush-a-bye Baby, on the tree top, When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, And down will come baby, cradle and all.

According to Vikki Harris' "The Origin of Nursery Rhymes & Mother Goose" (1997), regardless of their malevolent words, the nursery rhymes that were popular years ago, and still are today, can be placed into three categories. First are the lullabies, the songs and melodies with which most of us are familiar. These were far from soothing but rather are said to have been sung in order to intimidate the child and/or used as an outlet for the emotions of the parent or nurse:

Bye, baby bunting,
Daddy's gone a-hunting,
Gone to get a rabbit skin
To wrap the baby bunting in.
-1784

Bye, baby bumpkin
Where's Tony Lumpkin
My lady's on her death-bed,
With eating half a pumpkin.
-1842

A second reason for the development of nursery rhymes was as infant amusement. Counting rhymes, and alphabet rhymes fit into this category, and are generally non-violent.

One, two, three, four, five,
Once I caught a fish alive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
Then I let him go again.
-1888

Here's A, B, C, D, E, F, and G,
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V,
W, X, Y, and Z-
And O, dear me,
When shall I learn
My A, B, C?
1869

Tickle games were readily used for the amusement of infants and toddlers. Perhaps the two best known are:

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can;
Pat it and prick it, and mark it with B,
And put it in the oven for baby and me
-1698

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none,
And this little piggy cried,
Wee, wee, wee
All the way home.
-1728

"It is also possible that the credit of preservation should go to the nursery itself," explains Henry Bett in "Nursery Rhymes and Tales - Their Origin and History (1968) "We owe the preservation of our nursery rhymes and nursery tales from remote ages to the astonishing persistence of popular tradition, reinforced by the characteristic conservatism of childhood which insists on having rhymes repeated the same way each time."

In the circle game Ring-around-the-rosie, links have been made to the Great Plague of London and Edinburgh. The lines "Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down" or "Hush! Hush! Hush! Hush! We've all tumbled down" is referring to the death of the people.

Ring-a-round a rosie,
A pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down.

******* Three blind mice
Three blind mice,
See how they run!
They all ran after a farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

************* All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop! goes the weasel.

***************** Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.
(This rhyme refers to the amorous and amoral Prince Regent who became George IV during Regency times in England)

******** Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

******

Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

If you carefully reread Hansel and Gretel, you may never again repeat it to your children:

Hard by a great forest dwelt a poor wood-cutter with his wife and his two children. The boy was called Hansel and the girl Gretel. He had little to bite and to break, and once when great dearth fell on the land, he could no longer procure even daily bread. Now when he thought over this by night in his bed, and tossed about in his anxiety, he groaned and said to his wife, what is to become of us. How are we to feed our poor children, when we no longer have anything even for ourselves. I'll tell you what, husband, answered the woman, early to-morrow morning we will take the children out into the forest to where it is the thickest.

There we will light a fire for them, and give each of them one more piece of bread, and then we will go to our work and leave them alone. They will not find the way home again, and we shall be rid of them. No, wife, said the man, I will not do that. How can I bear to leave my children alone in the forest. The wild animals would soon come and tear them to pieces. O' you fool, said she, then we must all four die of hunger, you may as well plane the planks for our coffins, and she left him no peace until he consented. But I feel very sorry for the poor children, all the same, said the man.

The two children had also not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Gretel wept bitter tears, and said to Hansel, now all is over with us.

*********

In "The Truth Behind Goldilocks," Mental Floss - Volume 2, Richard Zachs writes that we are reading watered-down versions of the fairy tales and that the originals were far more graphic and brutal.

In the earliest known version (1831) of Goldilocks, discovered in Toronto, the author, one Eleanor Mure, a 32-year-old maiden aunt, created "The Story of The Three Bears" for her nephew, Horace Broke.

The original "Goldilocks" was an "angry old woman" who breaks into the bears' house because they snubbed her during a recent social call. Once the three bears catch the old woman, they try to figure out what to do with her. Here's what they came up with:

On the fire they throw her, but burn her they couldn't; In the water they put her, but drown there she wouldn't; They seize her before all the wondering People, And chuck her aloft on St. Paul's churchyard steeple; And if she's still there, when you earnestly look, You will see her quite plainly -- my dear Little Horbook!

No other version has Goldilocks impaled on a church steeple. The grayhaired old lady didn't become a goldenhaired young girl until 1918.

The tales which we so fondly recall from our childhood will be passed on to our children and produce yet another generation of nursery lore.

Who killed Cock Robin? I did Mommy. It was fun.

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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Achieving YOUR Goals IN SPITE OF Adversity - Two Short But True Stories That Tell HOW

By Tayo Solagbade

A Mother Who Knew How

Through relentless personal efforts, she practically created the �miracle� that saved her son(the disease affects only boys - usually between ages 6 and 10). She went from doctor to doctor, specialist-to-specialist and visited libraries, reading all manner of books, articles, research reports etc that had even the slightest relevance to the subject of ALD.

She remained undaunted in the face of repeated discouragement from those she approached for help.

Instead, she chose to empower herself by becoming as knowledgeable as the medical practitioners themselves, on the subject of ALD and its treatment etc. It was this focus, determination and perseverance that eventually paid off, resulting in her helping to discover a viable treatment for her child � and by implication, those of others.

(The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) maintains an information page on ALD. Copy and paste this URL - http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/adrenoleukodystrophy/adrenoleukodystrophy.htm - into the URL entry bar in another instance of your browser to view it).

The foregoing narrative illustrates how an individual, through self-help/belief, can achieve what � before then � would have been considered "impossible".

Michael Angier - in one of his http://SuccessNet.org articles(titled "Leaders are readers") � once wrote that Abraham Lincoln used to walk miles (from/to his house) to borrow and return library books, which he read, by candlelight(Did you get that? He read them by CANDLELIGHT! - so it wasn't exactly the most convenient or enjoyable experience that he had to undertake in order to acquire the knowledge he so obviously desired. Most of us today have a comparatively easier job to do in this regard, since we have ready access, in most cases, to electricity. The way I see it, this implies that we should be able to do more reading than Lincoln did, IF we set our minds to it).

That the knowledge Abraham Lincoln acquired from reading all those books made a significant impact on his ability to succeed is certainly not in doubt today. I once read somewhere that "books strengthen the mind". In Lincoln's case, his healthy reading habit apparently gave him the mental stamina to carry on, (DESPITE failing repeatedly in pursuing many important goals he set out to achieve in his lifetime) UNTIL he achieved noteworthy success.

As pointed out by Angier: in Abe�s case, the phrase �Leaders are readers� could not be more appropriate.

An Employee Who Knew How

Consider another true story of a 29 year old brewer in one of the Nigerian plants of a multinational blue chip manufacturing company.

He decided to attend a 3-month practically intensive French Language course in his spare time (which wasn�t much). During this period he would close night shift at 7.00am on Monday for instance, get home by 7.30am, sleep till 10.30am then rush out to resume French lessons by 11.00am for 4 consecutive hours.

Many times after classes, he would insist on staying on with his Cameroonian teacher to practice speaking/writing fluent and grammatically correct French. He kept this up till the 3 months expired � and continued afterwards to visit the teacher to consolidate his learning.

The latter, being very impressed, arranged later that year for the �student� to spend 3 weeks in Cameroon living with his (the teacher�s) family. During this period, the young man went out daily to interact with people in different places and practice carrying on everyday conversations in French with a view to achieving fluency. As the end of his three week stay approached he was pleased to note - based on comments from his hosts and friends he had made, that his fluency had improved noticeably. The trip had served useful purpose after all.

A Run Of Bad Luck?

When it was time to return to Nigeria, things did not however go exactly as he had planned. As a matter of fact, his trip back home turned out to be most traumatising, due to an unexpected failure of a friend he had made on arrival in Cameroon, to return an amount of money he(the friend) had borrowed. In order to get back to Nigeria and resume shift duty on schedule in the brewery, he was forced to travel 12 hours overnight, by sea, under heavy rainfall, in a leaky boat from Douala Cameroon to Oron in Nigeria. Read the full story of that journey across the Ocean in the article titled "I Travelled 12 Hours Overnight, By Sea, In A Leaky Boat - From Cameroon To Nigeria - Without Money!" .

Reaping The Rewards

That was in July 1999. In April 2001(almost 2 years later), this young man was nominated by his company along with 3 others to attend a 1 week International Course in Douala, Cameroon (note that the company/most of its managers had no idea at this time that he could speak/read or write French).

It was just a day after the course began, that the expatriate MD of their Cameroonian sister company visited, and joined the Nigerian delegates in their hotel bar.

For some strange reason, the MD singled him out and asked him �Tu parle Fran็ais?�(�Do you speak French?�).

The young man naturally responded �Oui, je parle un peu�(�Yes, a little�) a bit surprised at being taken up so directly. Both men went on to converse fluently for about 15 minutes in the same language while the other Nigerians looked on in amazement.

One of them was to later say to this young man �Ol boy, so you can speak French!? I knew you took some classes, but I didn�t know you could speak it so well. Man, I�m impressed�. Another said �You�ve really demystified this language for me now � I must learn to speak French too�.

While they were still at the bar, the MD called another Cameroonian, a senior manager, and said (pointing to the young Nigerian) �Il parle Fran็ais comme un Camerounais!�(He speaks French like a Cameroonian!).

Needless to say, he subsequently became very useful as an interpreter for his Nigerian colleagues, whenever they visited their choice restaurant to eat � since the steward there could barely manage a few words of greeting in English. The same thing happened whenever they had to ask for directions when they went out on their own.

But most importantly, you can imagine the high regard in which his colleagues began to hold him for his ability to speak a foreign language they wished they could speak, and so fluently too. Of course he got noticed for that many times afterwards, and made friends much more easily as a result. In fact, after the course, one of the Cameroonian delegates invited him to spend a number of nights with his family at Yaounde - and even went out of his way to help locate the family of the young man�s teacher in the Francophone capital.

The significant recognition and high profile that his French-speaking ability brought him served to make the pains of learning to speak the language well worth it.

Now, Let Me Ask You A Question

What if his company's management had later decided to send someone on secondment to work in the sister company in Cameroon? And what if they had to choose from amongst a large number of qualified managers � which included our young friend?

Do you think he would have been one of those to be given very serious consideration/possibly chosen?

I do. And by the way, that young man was this writer. And it did happen that during the course in Douala, the idea of having an international mix of facilitators to implement the roll out of the course within each country was muted. A suggestion made by one of the expatriate course facilitators was that our young Nigerian, being already French speaking, would be well placed to help the Cameroonians with the implementation in their country.

Were They Just Lucky?

It could be argued, that the individuals I have described above, were just lucky to have been in the right place at the right time.

My response would be that anyone who thinks so, has probably not heard the very apt saying that goes something like this: �Luck is often what happens when preparation meets opportunity�. In other words, a person can ensure that he becomes perpetually lucky (successful) by simply preparing himself ahead of time for possible experiences (or opportunities) s/he might be exposed to in the future.

This can be done first by reflecting on previous experiences - and current happenings - as well as carefully evaluating signs or signals of likely future occurrences. Having done this, the individual can then proceed to prepare �against the backdrop of the reflections - by acquiring the relevant skills and/or knowledge needed to effectively tackle the challenges that the future brings. By the time s/he actually encounters the challenges or undergoes the experiences, it would likely be with a feeling of having done it before � what is sometimes called �D้jเ vu�.

"Luck is the residue of diligence" - Unknown

Summary

People in different areas of human endeavor sometimes complain that they can�t succeed or achieve advancements in their personal/work lives. Their reason is often that they lack the needed resources or enabling environment for them to do so. (An example is the case of employees working in an organization).

The truth however is often that within that same environment, working alongside those same complainants, are some individuals who � despite the lack of resources/favorable environment � are continually achieving the desired successes.

By this I do not mean individuals who have godfathers making things happen for them from behind the scenes, regardless of their actual abilities or workplace performances. I also do not refer to persons who employ crooked means to achieve their "success(es)". No.

Those I am concerned with here are persons who by dint of sheer hard work, diligent preparation, perpetual self-education, and rugged perseverance, continually overcome (perceived) limitations in their environment, to achieve practically ANY objectives they set for themselves.

FINAL WORDS : In saying the foregoing, I must emphasise that sometimes, one may have to (as Jim Rohn said) change the environment(s) in which one seeks to succeed. This can be especially relevant to persons engaged in activities outside paid employment. In following Jim's advice however, some people may need to improvise(like I have), as not everyone will be able to easily "re-locate" physically to another environment.

Thankfully, technology and the Internet have today made it easier to increase your chances of achieving success. They do this by affording you convenient access to more favourable environments that are physically beyond your reach, while you remain where you are. One example: A freelance writer based in India can get better paid - than s/he would at home - to do work online for clients in the US, Canada etc.

Regardless of your physical location therefore, it follows that if you KNOW you have the competence to deliver what you promise, you will be prepared to commit whatever time and effort is necessary to build the online credibility required to command the interest, recognition and ultimately, THE patronage of online paying clients/customers from across the world.

You can achieve your goals IN SPITE OF adversity. All you have to do is believe in yourself, use that self-belief to drive yourself to improve your ability to do what you do, plus, BE PERSISTENT in doing so - no matter how long it takes or how hard it is. Do this for as long as your goals remain unattained, and you WILL eventually achieve them!

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Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist � Tayo Solagbade - devotes his time to exploring new frontiers of Self-Development Education, especially as it relates to showing people what they can do by themselves, for themselves to achieve their set goals - DESPITE the limitations of their circumstances or environment.

To get more useful Tips, Information And News that can help you do what you do more successfully, Click Here to subscribe - within seconds - to Tayo's Weekly "Five(5) Minute Read Performance Enhancement Newsletter".